johncherrystone:

Sometimes I like to think about what Akaashi’s voicemail must be filled with

• “Akaashi, this is Bokuto.  I think I deleted my text messaging app.  Please call immediately.”
  
• “Hi, hi, Akaashi.  Guess who just saw a cool dog??? It looked kind of like a squirrel but it wasn’t.  Please call.”
  
• “Akaashi, guess what, guess what! My mom made me tacos.  I’ve never had tacos before.  Also I think you look pretty in the color red.  Call back.”
  
• “*sniffs* I hit my face on my bed– *sniffs* And Kuroo laughed at me.  Akaashi, I’m saaaaad.  Please call me back.  My nose hurts.”
  
• “Akaashi if you drop your phone in chili will it be okay I’m calling hypothetically speaking like theoretically if I dropped my phone in chili would it work.  I dunno though.  Just a question.  Hypothetical.”
• “Akaashi this is important do you think cats have feelings more than owls? Please call immediately.”
• “Siri can you call Akaashi.  Siri?  Siri hello please call Akaashi.  Siri.  Hello?”
• “Hello Akaashi I am at the grocery store and I forgot what I needed to buy, could you please help me?  I know you’re in class but please call.”
  
• “Akaashi do you know how to take selfies?  I can’t find my camera app.  Please help. ”
  
• “Akaashi if I fed some pigeons crackers, will they die?  I read somewhere that feeding them rice makes them explode and now I’m really concerned that they’re gonna die from these crackers I gave them.  Akaashi, I– *sniffs*  What if I killed them?  Please call.  I don’t want to be a bird murderer.  I don’t–oh my god, I’m a birderer.  Akaashi.  Please call me back.  They were just crackers.  The birds were innocent.”
  

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